I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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