i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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