I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
