he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Dick very happy bro
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
