My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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