Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
