no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
