He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
