Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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