Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
