you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
