I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
