She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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