i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
