I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
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