I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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