stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
