how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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