i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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