Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
