Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
