i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
...so i touched it.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
