We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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