If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
