She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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