I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
