no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
