But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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