I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
