Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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