Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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