Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
