So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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