thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
