I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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