Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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