HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
