Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize