playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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