I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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