Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
