Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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