My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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