I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
