i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The uberlube is also flammable
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize