I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
