How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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