I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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