everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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