I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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