Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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