I CAN MOONWALK!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
