..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
