i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
