We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
