Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
