I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
