Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
