he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
