If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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