Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
