ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
