He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I forget how to act sober
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