it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
of course. lets lasso hookers.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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