Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize