If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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