Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
