My underwear smells like fireworks.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
