A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
