yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just googled if crying burns calories
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
