Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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