bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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